Orange Tide

Gingers are an interesting creature. Not quite human, but usually attractive enough. Somehow they manage to be decent people despite not having souls. Here are some protips for dealing with them in everyday life. 

1) If you ever encounter a ginger in a public setting just relax and don’t make a big deal. Gingers are held accountable to the law just like everybody else so chances are most gingers won’t hurt you when there are witnesses around. Go up, make some small talk, see if you can hit it off. Who knows, you might be talking to your next best friend or casual lover. 

2) If you are ever alone with a ginger call someone right away and make sure that person knows where you are, where you will be, and a description of the ginger you are with. 80% of the time gingers are cool. But gingers also have a hidden power called “ginger rage.” You don’t want to be around when that goes down. I can’t really tell you a lot about ginger rage because no one ever lives long enough to document it. Watch out. 

3) Now if by some off chance you ever end up in an abandoned Home Depot with a ginger don’t fret. Gingers love flowers. Just go over to the garden section, find the most attractive flowers and present them to your ginger pursuer. It will neutralize them. I don’t know how, or why it works, but I just made it up so it probably does. 

 

Now these rules only apply to your standard, run-of-the-mill ginger. If you ever encounter a Shelby in any of the previous circumstances, follow these directions strictly. 

1) Kiss her. 

2) Kiss her. 

3) Kiss her. 

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